The start of an adventure....

Im at a place in my life where Im trying to find my place. Ive had great adventures and not so great experiences. Ive been stubborn and challenging to deal with and as I learn Gods will for his people and the roles of wives and mothers, my whole heart and life have transformed. Ive recently read a book about becoming a proverbs 31 woman and the term "Martha 31" was formed from a modern day Martha Stewart. I have been on a quest to serve and support my husband and be a role model for my family while changing the world and working, running a farm and so on. I have triumph days and many days where I just want to throw in the towel. I thought it would be interesting to write and share my experiences with others out there maybe looking for comfort in knowing that I am human and we all have room to learn and grow.

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2024

Here we are... Happy New Year!! So, what are your resolutions and goals for 2024? Ill tell you mine... none. Ive been wondering what is wrong with me so I googled "What does it mean if you have no goals or dreams" Diagnosis...lacking motivation and unambitious. Interesting. I get up every day and work 12-16 hours a day usually 7 days a week to keep things going yet I have lack of motivation and unambitious. Hmmm. Another diagnosis was lack of purpose, ok I might get on board with that one. I have been asking God my whole life what my purpose is and why am I here. I have felt the answer a few times and things seem to explode while I was doing it. So, that cant be right. I get doors close and and another one opens but how many have to shut before you figure out what your supposed to do with your life? Whats the purpose in finding it right before your life ends...why cant we spend our whole lives doing our purpose our mission before final resting and the words "good job my...

Hillsong

I came across Hillsong music around 1997. I was 17 , just lost my grandfather the most precious person to me and with my heart full of "why Gods", there is just something about Hillsong music that brings me to my knees. This music has been with me through the hardest moments in my life ever since. I had no idea it was a church or school until recently. I have every CD (for those that know what that is haha) and they have been played over and over that Ive had to rebuy them. Now I have Hillsong music on pandora so it plays through my car. I can scream it at the top of my lungs on a good day or say nothing at all on a bad day. Last week I accidently stumbled across the documentary so I watched it. I learned alot. I had no idea any of that had gone on to be honest. I didnt know what to think or say so I took a couple days to process. I have said this before in past post about putting people in the church on pedestals. Yes, I have also been hurt on more than one occasion from mu...

PK

So I have a disheartning confession...Im a plant killer (boo). My mother calls me PK (not joking). Its super frustrating to be so passionate about something and be so bad at it. Every year I spend hundreds of dollars on plants, seeds, soil only to kill everything within months sometimes weeks. I research, I plan, I study and nothing. I can buy garden vegetable plants from the store and keep the plants alive but cant get them produce. Ive tried indoor gardening with lights, container gardening, in ground gardening and raised bed gardening with all the same results. I feel like I have even blogged all this trauma before now that I think about it because it s yearly disappointment. I can grow seeds into pods and give them away because I have so many then kill the plants I keep. What gives? I will tell you about 15 years ago I lived on a farm and had the most amazing garden EVER!! I also had the most amazing father in law that tended to it everyday. I had fruit trees and a blackberry garde...

On the search to seeking Gods will

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