Im at a place in my life where Im trying to find my place. Ive had great adventures and not so great experiences. Ive been stubborn and challenging to deal with and as I learn Gods will for his people and the roles of wives and mothers, my whole heart and life have transformed. Ive recently read a book about becoming a proverbs 31 woman and the term "Martha 31" was formed from a modern day Martha Stewart. I have been on a quest to serve and support my husband and be a role model for my family while changing the world and working, running a farm and so on. I have triumph days and many days where I just want to throw in the towel. I thought it would be interesting to write and share my experiences with others out there maybe looking for comfort in knowing that I am human and we all have room to learn and grow.
Here we are again...another year has passed and Im in my normal buhumbug Christmas attitude with declining spirit as the years go by. Its really my same gripe and complaint every year of the expectation and greed that has taken over the idea of a gift. I dont mean to bring others down with me, but it seems my husband is losing his spirit as well. Our house has been known for its lights and light show but this year no lights, no decorations and its the 18th of December. My kids are grown.. well I say that, but really the baby has been jipped. Hes 16 so never here, but we always did the Christmas stuff because we had kids to make it special for. Everyone around us thinks we have it all together...does facebook do that to people? I feel like Ive always been raw and real which is not always to my advantage when your bi polar like me things just come out. The truth is, I just dont have any Christmas in me anymore. I see everyone else getting together and making cookies and candies, visitin
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