On the search to seeking Gods will

I have sought out a couple dear friends to me that I look up to that are readers and writers asking for their opinion and feedback of this blog I've been writing for a little over a month. It's not about the numbers, it's about me journaling my path to finding Gods will and hoping that other people can learn or relate so they don't feel alone and give up. There are times though that I wonder of it's worth the criticism and vulnerably that I'm subjecting myself and family to. Honestly I believe the brief thoughts I have are satans setback trying to overtake my thoughts so I will just stop. I dont need Satan devaluing me to know how much he hates these messages, it must be like watching failure splashed in his face as we thrive to keep our home godly. I've been reading "The resolution for women" based in the movie "Courageous". Priscilla Shrier was the chosen author to write this book after the movie. I read several of her books and like th

The last blog post was about being seen differently by people and not acting the way of the world. I have been mocked a couple times by the way I have chosen my life and Im ok with that, but my heart keeps telling me theres more to say. Its the wierdest thing to have your heart pulled and tugged for what has been on my mind, but the only way to put it to rest is to write it out. The podcast of life church was a series "from this day forward" learning five principles for marriage. I will use the same quote as before, it just got to me,"If you want to have a different marriage and family than everyone else, then you have to do things differently than everyone else". It really is a very powerful statement. We do have rules in our marriage and home that most people think is ridiculous and most of the time my husband thinks they are ridiculous, but weve been married before and you all know how that worked out so, if we want a different marriage, we will have to do differ

I just feel like I have been under attack for the way I have chosen to live my life the past two years and even more so in the last 6 months. People in my life who have always been my biggest cheerleaders and supporters have let me know that they dont care for this blog or the things that I have said or done lately. I can count them on my hands and to me, even though its a strong hand, it just doesnt outweigh the hundreds of people who have shared their stories, hurts, hopes and let me know how much the things I write and say means to them and has helped them in their lives. Its bittersweet to see the strong hand fold, but at the same time...whos actually holding the cards to that hand? I have heard some really mean and hurtful things from people who just dont understand that Im different now than I used to be and again, I can count those people on my hands so you would think it doesnt matter, but it still hurts. I listened to a podcast last night from lifechurch talking in a series

I have learned to reverse roles before "blowing up" or even speaking (reacting) to avoid regret and overreacting. It took me along time to think about someone else and how they must feel, as I mentioned before it was literally my way or the highway and there was no such thing as fair in my previous life (pre-christ). All about me, I was so selfish and Im embarrassed to mention it, but at the same time demonstrating growth by even admitting it. The best example I can give you is when it all changed for me and why this was so eye opening for me after all the wasted years I spent angry, bitter and resentful. My husband is a firefighter and at the time was on shift every third day. We had small children (one with ADHD), a restraunt, rental property, he also worked on local ambulance and I sold real estate....did I mention I also worked at St. Francis as a nurse tech going to nursing school? (background info lol). He would be gone one full day and night and then come home and slee

Its the time of year again that in my house we dread, "alarm days".....school, soccer, activities and holidays. Although we love what we do, we dont like schedules (yes, we are that spoiled). My kids get up, dressed and fed before I even wake up. I wake up and walk to the car to meet them and off we go! I get in seasons and need to be reprogrammed every so often and this weekend of course as my heart was convicted, the self talk went something like this: Here I am trying to be "Martha 31" and all I want to do is sleep...NO, NO, NO! You need to be up, fully ready for work, make breakfast for your children and head to work to get it all done so that you dont slack in your work and you keep a happy family.....ugh, I know! So, tomorrow starts a new day that I begin being like most families who think Im absolutely nuts and spoiled right now, but then I was also opened up to this thought so stay with me....what else do we do in seasons and slack off with? Last year I wa