On the search to seeking Gods will

I have learned a lot through facebook throughout the years about myself and other people. Ive watched myself mature as a person, business person and Christian. When I started facebook somewhere around 2008/9ish, my attitude was if you don't like what I say then dont read or friend me. I still feel that way, but the difference is I don't post every thought, reaction or frustration. Im a real person and I have bad days, but the world doesn't need to hear about it. I also learned its not right to treat other people that way and it only makes me look bad. That same time frame I didn't really care what made me look bad because I didn't care what people thought about me and to a degree I still don't but I have a different heart about it. I don't want to portray my life is perfect, but facebook became an outlet for me to express myself in ways a shy person wouldn't normally. I found a sense of humor, I found inspiration and I felt connection like never before f

As I continue to be vulnerable and burned by people and life, it makes me want to isolate myself and build walls around me even stronger to not be fooled or failed again, but the truth is God doesn't desire us to live that way. Its one of the easier said then done scenarios, but letting the enemy win is no longer an option for me because I don't live my life for me, I live it for God. For every lie there is a truth. There will always be disappointments and pain in our lives because we are living in a hurting broken world. When I visited Teen Challenge last summer, although Im in love with the program, I couldn't help but think I could turn my life around also if I was in a program that consisted of constant study and growth. If I were isolated between home and church I could do life the godly way. I even thought if I joined staff to this great program that Id be surrounded and isolated into a godly bubble and I would be where God wanted me, but that's just boot camp not