I cannot do this any longer, I cannot continue to live this way. My life is just not where it needs to be. I need to be redirected and refocused on God, my kids and my career. My life has been clouded. The enemy is pushing me towards a wall to stumble and fall when I'm at my weakest and he wins. I cried out to God, literally sitting in my car while the kids are at soccer practice, bawling my eyes out for two hours (Thank goodness for dark sunglasses and very dark tinted windows). I feel like I'm marching around the walls for no purpose, I'm just walking around in circles waiting for the promises of the seventh day. When will the walls disappear? Where are the trumpets in my life Lord? Everything I do has fallen short, I cant help but to feel like a failure with work, kids, marriage. I know everyone falls short at one time or another, but I feel like I do I every time with everything. This juggling act of making it each day just to get by to one more day is not the quality
Searching for Gods will, desire and plan for me as Im changing my heart, attitudes, desires and flesh into an intimate relationship with Christ and his will.....but the process from cold to warm to hot has been challenging. Learn from my experiences and know that you are not alone in this adventure we call "life".