On the search to seeking Gods will

Day 7 of a 21 day fast will be 20 days because Satan tormented me so bad the day I was supposed to start and I completely forgot. As I took my kids to school this morning we began talking about my upcoming Africa missions trip. I have one son that just thinks whatever naturally the oldest, another son that is VERY opinionated on how stupid and dangerous every trip I go on is and should just stay home to be safe and the little one who is influenced by both that goes up and down. This turned into a discussion on how if something were to happen to me doing Gods work then I died exactly how I would want to honoring and glorifying God, but something could also happen to me here in the US tomorrow. We talked about the sacrifice of Jesus' life for us and if something happened to me I would gladly sacrifice my life for him. The middle child of mine as opinionated and selfish as he is said some very not nice things and I became frustrated on my drive home thinking there should be a book for

Im really proud of myself for not being tempted. I feel pretty tired and have had several headaches, but Im still moving forward. One of my main prayers for this fast was to take a step back from my fast paced busy life and just stop. I want to be in tune with God as I have been previously. I know the bible talks about fasting in a quiet place and not to make it a spectacle that the Daniel fast has become, but I really want to share my journey and this is apart of it. Prayer and meditation with God, spending quality time with God is sooooooo important to your walk. He wants nothing more than a relationship with us and we cant be in a relationship if we dont listen to each other and talk to each other. He does know everything we are going to tell him before we do, and yet he still wants to hear it from us. Its amazing to me as I have journeyed through the bible of how big and mighty our God is and yet how gentle and soft he is. He cries when we cry and lately that has been alot for me s

I have always been considered strong willed and have been told by many that I may be made of stone because most of the time Im emotionless especially in tougher situations. Im not sure if its because I grew up with a military family or perhaps their no tolerance of tears or complaints. Maybe because of all I have been through, Im not sure but my coldness has effected many relationships throughout the years. One of the things that I have noticed about myself in the last two years with my heart change is that I have shown emotions and vulnerability that I never have before. Sometimes, I feel like I am caving into being the nice, bubbly, smiley person, I always hoped not to be....but reality is that my heart change was inside and out and when you have as much love and joy as I do at this point in my life, you just want to shout it from the rooftops and shake life into everyone. I did a 21 day fast with my church January two years ago and was able to complete it. I had a few headaches an