I came across Hillsong music around 1997. I was 17 , just lost my grandfather the most precious person to me and with my heart full of "why Gods", there is just something about Hillsong music that brings me to my knees. This music has been with me through the hardest moments in my life ever since. I had no idea it was a church or school until recently. I have every CD (for those that know what that is haha) and they have been played over and over that Ive had to rebuy them. Now I have Hillsong music on pandora so it plays through my car. I can scream it at the top of my lungs on a good day or say nothing at all on a bad day. Last week I accidently stumbled across the documentary so I watched it. I learned alot. I had no idea any of that had gone on to be honest. I didnt know what to think or say so I took a couple days to process. I have said this before in past post about putting people in the church on pedestals. Yes, I have also been hurt on more than one occasion from multiple people at different churches. It boils down to this... people are people. Yes, people in leadership are believed to walk the walk and talk the talk. Its sad that there were so many different instances within the same church umbrella but just think there are hundreds of Hillsong churches, schools and music so to think a handful of people made bad personal choices could ruin all the good the church has done throughout the world is crazy. Even the disciples that walked along side Jesus and witnessed miracles for themselves had doubts and made mistakes. We are not perfect and have all fallen short. Have you considered what the families that have been affected by the infidelity in the church have gone through? They lost everything and are basically in hiding because their lives were ruined while the whole world watched and for the spouses and children for something they didnt do. What if the whole world watched us? What would they see? Would we lose our credibility to love and celebrate God because of the choices weve made? Its only natural that were going to be let down and disappointed in people but why should the church suffer for what certain individuals have done or the church as a whole name in ruins? Yes, several founding members were found guilty, but look what the church has done internationally. Celebrate the good and learn from the bad but dont give judgement over it and dont give up God over it. Other peoples attitudes and actions dont define you and they certainly shouldnt break you. Be bigger than your hurt. Love, forgive, give grace, breathe. Your relationship with God should be greater than your dependency on the leaders and people of the church. Church people are just people like you and me, we mess up. We have bad days, make bad choices, were tempted, were tested, were exhausted but were all in this together so we treat each other with a little more grace for being real.
Here we are again...another year has passed and Im in my normal buhumbug Christmas attitude with declining spirit as the years go by. Its really my same gripe and complaint every year of the expectation and greed that has taken over the idea of a gift. I dont mean to bring others down with me, but it seems my husband is losing his spirit as well. Our house has been known for its lights and light show but this year no lights, no decorations and its the 18th of December. My kids are grown.. well I say that, but really the baby has been jipped. Hes 16 so never here, but we always did the Christmas stuff because we had kids to make it special for. Everyone around us thinks we have it all together...does facebook do that to people? I feel like Ive always been raw and real which is not always to my advantage when your bi polar like me things just come out. The truth is, I just dont have any Christmas in me anymore. I see everyone else getting together and making cookies and candies, visitin
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