Can you really forgive someone that has hurts you over and over?

Forgiveness is a very had thing to do, its easy to say sometimes, but our emotions and feelings have a harder time really forgiving. I always went by the philosophy that if you screwed me once you were done. At some point I realized people make mistakes and I decided to give second chances conditionally (depending who you were and your offense to me). My life was full of let downs and disappointments and that led to the coldness and hardness as I sheltered myself from getting hurt repeatedly. I avoided people and relationships other than my spouse (and sometimes even him). I think I cried maybe 5 times in ten years of our relationship and usually related to health pain with my migraines and stoamch issues. When I first found out my husband cheated on me I was relieved that I had a reason to get divorced (Oh believe me, I know how horrible that sounds), we were already unhappy for so many years and he was the "perfect spouse" and everyone knew it, I just wasnt happy and thought if I was divorced then I would be happy so this affair gave me a reason to go and everyone expected me to (including myself and him). I started house hunting, figuring, preparing and was on an anger high. I could just blame him and move on (I was so wrong). I dont believe that God ever left me even though I chose to live my own life away from his purpose. One night in the tub as I had cried my eyes out about all of this (very unusual especially when I was "happy" about it) and decided how to proceed after a million sorrys, pleas, and tears from my husband.... I had to figure out a plan on how to proceed. I wanted to be smart about it to protect my kids and business' (yes, I cared more about money than marriage at the time). Out of nowhere, I was calm and had a peace that I have never had before. My anger turned into compassion and my heart softened. I felt sorry for the very person who chose to hurt me and our family. I began to think how he must of felt and what he was going through. I begin to evaluate why someone would choose somebody else over me (oh yes, I just said that). Heres where it all changed for me, sitting in that tub this thought opened my eyes as I was shouting to God (in my mind this time). How can someone just do whatever and expect sorry to fix it all? I was in an abusive relationship before and after all emotional, mental and physical fights the words "sorry" would follow and that was to clear it up and be done. Well, it only worked for so long before I realized sorry had no meaning or value because there was always another rampage to follow. Heres where this gets good.....Im crying out to God asking how can someone hurt you over and over and over and your just supposed to forgive them or "turn the other cheek" and this was his answer, " thats what you do to me". We know what God wants from us, we know right from wrong and yet we continue to sin over and over and over again and expect God to forgive us each time we get caught or are in need (OUCH). We hurt him over and over and over and yet he washes us clean and redeems us each time, yet we cant do the same for the people we love most or people in general in fact. If we are to be "'Christians" which means "Christ like" then we cannot pick and choose what and when we want to follow, you are either in or out. Oh no, Im not judging you, Im saying this was spoken to me after I was ready and with one of the reasons allowed biblically for divorce and yet here it is again, "I CHOSE" to stay. I will be the first to say, I didnt do it correctly (another lesson learned later) but I made the decision to forgive him. Of course, for years after the bitterness inside of me fueled into anger and I rubbed it in his face and brought it up manipulitively every chance I got (not intentionally, but I did). I will be the first to admit that I let my flesh win the actual battle and was kidding myself when I thought I forgave him. I didnt know what forgiveness really was until I EXPERIENCED it, not said it. There is truth to "forgive and forget" or you will let Satan hold you in bondage and relive the terror of those moments every chance your mind and heart gets and it will never be forgotten. As I told you before, I renewed my life in Christ and learned what forgiveness really was and meant. Each time we choose to not forgive someone we are sinning ourselves and leaving a foothold for Satan to get into our minds and hearts and create destructive behavior and sadly he wins most of the time even when we are sitting in the church pugh on Sunday morning. You cannot live in sin continuously and sit in church and be ok, it just doesnt work that way. Yes, we are all sinners and we all sin so please dont misjudge what I am saying, but you cant continue to live your way (rejecting God) and then run to him expecting your "sorry" to cover you each time and still be under his favor and protection. He will (thats the amazing part of his love....no strings attached)  dont get me wrong, but why would you take him forgranted like that? Thats not love. The point is you have to learn from your sin and mistakes and ask for forgiveness, sometimes we fall and do it again but that doesnt give permission to keep doing it. Change your heart and your behavior and treat other people with the same repect you would with God because we are supposed to be "Christ like" and he loves unconditionally and covers our sin with his blood.

I will tell you that the lying, deceipt and cheating did not stop there so this was not a one time forgiveness lesson and thats why I chose this topic. I had to "choose" to be Christ like every single time a new situation came up because if I didnt then  I couldnt peacefully walk with God and by this time, I was already in an intimate relationship with Christ. Our flesh and most of my friends cannot comprehend how you can forgive someone who continually continues to hurt you AND continue to stay with them. Love is a choice not a feeling or emotion and when you want to walk with Christ you choose to love people, ALL of them just as Christ does (unconditionally). Please dont misjudge this as me saying you should stay in a physical, emotionally, or mentally abusing relationship and just get over it. I am not saying that, but there has to be an inner forgiveness in order to be free and have peace whether you are still in the relationship or have moved on. There is truth in "turning the other cheek" physically but hurts and wounds are so much deeper. I know our flesh and world has other ways to deal with this and Ive done this also so dont think Im some holy roller that doesnt understand or comprehend what youve been through. Im telling you this and if you get nothing else, please listen to my final thought (for now). Ive been on both sides and its not just about adultery. I have have been burned by friends, family, co workers and aquaintences and experienced pain, disappointment, hurt and anger in many different stages and circumstances in my life. I have lived on both sides of the fence and I will tell you this, once you get to the place of forgiveness, understanding, healing and peace that I have experienced, you will never want to go back to the dark place you were before. I learned that people will continuously disappoint and fail you, but God never will. Dont put your faith in people, put your faith in God and he will lead your path straight. I know Im not in "the clear" of people hurting me, but with Gods arms wrapped around you and  under his protection and you carry his heart and desires, there is freedom and you can overcome any punches that are against you because you are wearing the armor of God and can conquer any battle you are faced with "if" you "choose" to.