On the search to seeking Gods will

Ummmm....now what? Exactly how does "Martha 31" get her tasks completed when shes 1/4 of the superhero she normally is? These two weeks have been the most frustrating that I have endured in quite some time, yet I am rejoicing through it. You see if Satan is taking the time to pester me, then I must be doing something right with my spirit. Hallalujah!!! Its only taken 32 years to learn, what next Lord...lol. Im not trying to toot my own horn here, but a pretty destructive couple of weeks and Im still breathing at the same level with an inner peace that has not defeated me demonstrates some MAJOR and I mean MAJOR growth. I havent thrown any tantrums, yelled at anyone, completely shut down or given up. My health, family, finances, emotions, thoughts and my work have all been challenged this week and I made it through smoothly.....WOW! Id like God to give me an "A" so we can move on from this lesson, but I know it doesnt exactly work that way. In the mean time, my famil...

Intimacy and sex are the hardest things to talk about in a marriage because it is based off of feelings and emotions. A marriage thats not having sex is really in danger the most and the reason as to why can vary, but needs to be addressed immediately or the relationship will suffer in all other aspects. Somehow everything gets centered around sex and its frustrating to us woman who are in for the feeling and emotion and guys are in it for the act, yet we have to work together to make both parties feel satisfied. This has been one of the hardest issues of all my relationships and has even caused a divorce (or two). Its important to know first off that men and woman view sex different otherwise you really are setting yourself up for failure. I have learned that sex is number one out of ten needs and wants of a man, yet its number ten of a womans list. The key to a healthy relationship is meeting your spouses needs and wants while your spouse is doing the same for you in the order of you...

I talk to so many couples that are ready to throw in the towel because they dont see light at the end of the tunnel and feel like they just married the wrong person. That is one of Satans biggest lies and yet its amazing how many of us fall for that one (including me). The fact is when we grow up thinking of marriage we want and see the fairytale. Everything we read and watch is a story ending in a fairytale and when we feel like we are living in a nightmare instead of a fairytale, we just assume and believe we married the wrong person and instead of making your own fairytale, you opt for divorce or thoughts of divorce (which are just as damaging). Ive said it before and Ill say it until the day that I die, "Love is a choice" and to go one step further, "Happiness is a choice". Ever heard the saying. "The grass is greener on the other side, until you step in the poop"? Its true, we see other marriages or our single friends and just think that they have the...

Forgiveness is a very had thing to do, its easy to say sometimes, but our emotions and feelings have a harder time really forgiving. I always went by the philosophy that if you screwed me once you were done. At some point I realized people make mistakes and I decided to give second chances conditionally (depending who you were and your offense to me). My life was full of let downs and disappointments and that led to the coldness and hardness as I sheltered myself from getting hurt repeatedly. I avoided people and relationships other than my spouse (and sometimes even him). I think I cried maybe 5 times in ten years of our relationship and usually related to health pain with my migraines and stoamch issues. When I first found out my husband cheated on me I was relieved that I had a reason to get divorced (Oh believe me, I know how horrible that sounds), we were already unhappy for so many years and he was the "perfect spouse" and everyone knew it, I just wasnt happy and though...

For most of my life I have had voices in my head (seriously). If you ask my opinion I could give you more than one and they would all contradict each other. At one point, I wondered if I had multiple personalities, others summed it up that I should have been a lawyer when I grew up because I could argue almost any case and pursuade like no other. The problem is, my thoughts contradict each other and I talk myself in and out of things thinking its the right thing. The mind is very powerful. In my search to finding Gods will for my life, Im learning to fervently pray all the time. I have a 6:00am standing appointment with God and believe it or not since I have renewed my life (about 2 years now) I instantly wake up and never fails to be 6am, so God and I have our time and I fall back asleep until I wake back up to begin my day. I talk to God all day throughout the day when Im in my car (almost all day) as if he were in the seat next to me and yes, I look pretty riduculous driving down t...

Are you a hopeless romantic? Are you caught up in love stories and movies and find yourself desiring that kind of love? Do you look at other men or women and wish your husband or wife was like them? It's easy to to desire another person that you start out by admiring, but when your thoughts turn more into wishing or hoping your significant other was more like them your in the red zone. Watchout, you are in danger and your heart can be snatched away without even realizing it. I never believed in emotional affairs, it wasnt cheating unless there was physical contact, oh boy was I wrong (AGAIN). I have not only been caught up in this once, but twice in ten years of marriage. The old me (prechrist) felt that there was nothing wrong with having male friends, especially those that I knew almost my whole life. My thought was this towards my husband "Ive known them a whole lot longer than you and they will be for me when your gone"....I WAS SO WRONG, and I will be the first to ad...

My husband is on shift Monday and Tuesdays so the boys and I take a little vacation from housework and cooking. We play, watch movies, and chill with exception of picking the garden and feeding the animals. The old me would wake up whenever, work on rent houses and real estate all day, come home put on my jammies and couch it for the rest of the night only making dinner a couple nights a week the rest were on their own. I had shows no one could talk through or interrupt mom and I really felt I deserved it after working all day. Im not a dirty person, but could careless if the dishes werent washed the second they were dirty or the laundry wasnt caught up. I emptied the trash, cleaned the bathrooms and wiped down the kitchen, in my mind who cares and if they care then they can do it themselves because Im tired. I later learned that I was depressed not just tired. The guilt of feeling depressed when you have nothing to be depressed about is depressing in itself. I had everything I wanted ...