Day 7 of a 21 day fast will be 20 days because Satan tormented me so bad the day I was supposed to start and I completely forgot. As I took my kids to school this morning we began talking about my upcoming Africa missions trip. I have one son that just thinks whatever naturally the oldest, another son that is VERY opinionated on how stupid and dangerous every trip I go on is and should just stay home to be safe and the little one who is influenced by both that goes up and down. This turned into a discussion on how if something were to happen to me doing Gods work then I died exactly how I would want to honoring and glorifying God, but something could also happen to me here in the US tomorrow. We talked about the sacrifice of Jesus' life for us and if something happened to me I would gladly sacrifice my life for him. The middle child of mine as opinionated and selfish as he is said some very not nice things and I became frustrated on my drive home thinking there should be a book for dummies to teach kids what God is about and that this life means nothing if your not giving it all for God and yea, there is the ultimate instruction manual, but apparently Im not able to teach it correctly so I need a yellow dummy book.
I am also getting ready to attend a family funeral and just prayed for a family today on a for sale by owner showing on their home and and the home they will be looking at today hoping to buy a bigger home to adopt more children. I hope one day my family is at that place, and of course God willing. The ironic and I say that but the God moment in all of this is that the man of that household said he prayed for me and my fast yesterday as Im praying for their family. I give 10 percent of all real estate money to a missionary family that ministers in family adoption and orphan care. My real estate family doesnt know that part yet, but the missionary family does and are praying today. As Im thinking about this funeral, my heart came to this conclusion.....If I died today, I know I didnt give my capabilities to God 100 percent the way my heart wants to. Where Im stuck is I dont know what God wants me to do. I have already came to a place where Im all in with arms reaching and waiting for what his plans are, but yet I still dont know why Im here and what Im supposed to be doing even though I am finally willing to do whatever it is.
Heres where this incredible moment just reached me.....Im on a fast looking for marriage direction and financial miracles and I realized maybe why my son isnt getting the whole picture that I was so frustrated with this morning. What a selfish fast I set myself on! If I were seeking Gods heart and direction for my life, I would never have to question my marriage or finances. The truth is I had no desire to restore my marriage, but God had a bigger plan and changed my heart literally overnight. He wouldnt have done that if it wasnt his will or purpose, so why Im I questioning and wondering what direction Im supposed to go with instead of doing my 100 percent part like he asked me to begin with. Why am I questioning Gods miracle instead of making him a miracle in someone elses' life? Finances really? Yes, the purpose behind it was to pay off debt to be in obedience with his word, but a fast for finances is telling God I dont trust his word to provide my needs and doubting his ability....OMGoodness how selfish and oblivious can I be? Satan knows the only two weakness' I have are my marriage and finances and he hit them both and I turn and question God...really? Oh no, Satan it is on! My fasting direction just took a whole new change and guess what Satan....I have 14 more days of pure prayer to develop the call and direction in my life for Gods purpose and glory. I am a warrior in Gods army and you shall not defeat me or prosper in my life, marriage, family or finances!!!!
I will even go further and ask you to pray for Gods direction before me so I can see it clearly and give him 100% of me like he ask us to do. Im all in Lord...show me the way and I know because I believe in your promises that the marriage and finances will no longer be issues or trauma in my life because they were both in your plan and gifts to me to begin with. Thank you Lord for another AMAZING breakthrough in my heart and life. I cant wait to join in your vision for my life so I can serve you with all I am.
I am also getting ready to attend a family funeral and just prayed for a family today on a for sale by owner showing on their home and and the home they will be looking at today hoping to buy a bigger home to adopt more children. I hope one day my family is at that place, and of course God willing. The ironic and I say that but the God moment in all of this is that the man of that household said he prayed for me and my fast yesterday as Im praying for their family. I give 10 percent of all real estate money to a missionary family that ministers in family adoption and orphan care. My real estate family doesnt know that part yet, but the missionary family does and are praying today. As Im thinking about this funeral, my heart came to this conclusion.....If I died today, I know I didnt give my capabilities to God 100 percent the way my heart wants to. Where Im stuck is I dont know what God wants me to do. I have already came to a place where Im all in with arms reaching and waiting for what his plans are, but yet I still dont know why Im here and what Im supposed to be doing even though I am finally willing to do whatever it is.
Heres where this incredible moment just reached me.....Im on a fast looking for marriage direction and financial miracles and I realized maybe why my son isnt getting the whole picture that I was so frustrated with this morning. What a selfish fast I set myself on! If I were seeking Gods heart and direction for my life, I would never have to question my marriage or finances. The truth is I had no desire to restore my marriage, but God had a bigger plan and changed my heart literally overnight. He wouldnt have done that if it wasnt his will or purpose, so why Im I questioning and wondering what direction Im supposed to go with instead of doing my 100 percent part like he asked me to begin with. Why am I questioning Gods miracle instead of making him a miracle in someone elses' life? Finances really? Yes, the purpose behind it was to pay off debt to be in obedience with his word, but a fast for finances is telling God I dont trust his word to provide my needs and doubting his ability....OMGoodness how selfish and oblivious can I be? Satan knows the only two weakness' I have are my marriage and finances and he hit them both and I turn and question God...really? Oh no, Satan it is on! My fasting direction just took a whole new change and guess what Satan....I have 14 more days of pure prayer to develop the call and direction in my life for Gods purpose and glory. I am a warrior in Gods army and you shall not defeat me or prosper in my life, marriage, family or finances!!!!
I will even go further and ask you to pray for Gods direction before me so I can see it clearly and give him 100% of me like he ask us to do. Im all in Lord...show me the way and I know because I believe in your promises that the marriage and finances will no longer be issues or trauma in my life because they were both in your plan and gifts to me to begin with. Thank you Lord for another AMAZING breakthrough in my heart and life. I cant wait to join in your vision for my life so I can serve you with all I am.
I loved this one Heather! Very eye opening. I am sure I am not the only one who got something out of this. I know for myself, I sometimes forget that God is in my driver's seat of life. I find myself wanting the be the driver (both front & back seat-LOL), but when I submit to letting him be in the driver's seat, I find more peace, focus, direction and less frustration, anger and discontent. Thank you for you blogging, it reminds me where God's place is in my life and if it is not the right place, then I need to make sure HE is there at the top.
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