I just feel like I have been under attack for the way I have chosen to live my life the past two years and even more so in the last 6 months. People in my life who have always been my biggest cheerleaders and supporters have let me know that they dont care for this blog or the things that I have said or done lately. I can count them on my hands and to me, even though its a strong hand, it just doesnt outweigh the hundreds of people who have shared their stories, hurts, hopes and let me know how much the things I write and say means to them and has helped them in their lives. Its bittersweet to see the strong hand fold, but at the same time...whos actually holding the cards to that hand? I have heard some really mean and hurtful things from people who just dont understand that Im different now than I used to be and again, I can count those people on my hands so you would think it doesnt matter, but it still hurts.
I listened to a podcast last night from lifechurch talking in a series about marriage. The pastor said, "if you want to have a different marriage than everyone else, then you have to do things differently than everyone else in the world does", and its true and it stuck with me not only in marriage but life. So my thought is to add life in there to make it, "if you want your life to be different from others than you have to do things differently than others do".....I dont want to be wordly so I have chosen to change my ways. So with all these persecuting moments, my thought is I must be living a way that others can finally see that Im different. Isnt it odd that we spend our whole lives trying to fit in and be like everyone else, but yet the switch of the spirit comes from within and lights you up, you are clearly different because you see things in life completely different, you react different, you make decisions different, you just hold yourself together in a different matter and Im coming to the conclusion that if people are noticing that Im different than maybe Im finally grasping what Im here to do and what my purpose is. It will make people turn against you because they dont understand and I think its ok because those arent the people I need around me right now to keep my focus where it needs to be, all I can do is pray they see the light and join me in a more than words can say extreme lifestyle. Im ok with different.
Matthew 5:10 says, "God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs". Well, hot diggity dog, it looks like for the first time in my life Im actually doing something right, I cant express the freedom and peace that comes with knowing that you are doing things right, you have closed all your loose ends and mended your past relationships. I had someone use a term "burn the boats" that are causing your heart astray but the more I thought about it, I thought of the game "Battleship", I dont need to burn boats that carry weights to my heart, I need to line them up stratigically and sink them by figuring out where and what they are and hitting them head on so they are gone forever. A life with no regret, not looking over your shoulder, not staying up all night, not trying to figure out how to rob peter to pay paul and not having worry and doubt of anything you have done or said is really nice and an amazing breath of fresh air after 17 years of internal garbage.
Ive lived the world way like everybody else and I was miserable, empty, cold and heartless...broken, I was broken. God has healed and restored my mind, body, heart and soul and I know he can do the same for you. Life doesnt have to be so hard, you can choose to be different. One of the great things about being "different" is that you wear a full armor of God and by doing so you can already forsee battles and are prepared to fight for them as they arise. When your not in your armor and the way of the world is on you, you keep getting beat down, beat down, beat down and you stay broken relying on other things to pick you up and make you feel better, but those fills are just temporary and when the newness and shine wears off, your left broken and empty again wondering where you went wrong and why your life sucks so bad and things keep happening to you. You have a choice on which side you want to be, the side with armor or the side of the world. Ive lived both and wonder why I went with the world for so many years when I could have had the protection and armor fighting battles for me. I can only imagine through scripture the persecution that Jesus faced not just at crucifiction, but his entire life people mocked and persecuted him because he was different. I chose to be a christ follower so if I endure mockery and persecution for my beliefs and my lifestyle...Im ok with that. Still shocks me when I read or hear things, but I also feel sorrow for the mouths and hearts these words come from because they are hurting on the inside. Im sorry if this message seemed like a cry, but I assure you it was meant for someone who is internally battling the fence line and I hope its enough to show them the light and that its ok to be different. It doesnt mean you wont be fighting battles, it just means your protected from those battles.
I listened to a podcast last night from lifechurch talking in a series about marriage. The pastor said, "if you want to have a different marriage than everyone else, then you have to do things differently than everyone else in the world does", and its true and it stuck with me not only in marriage but life. So my thought is to add life in there to make it, "if you want your life to be different from others than you have to do things differently than others do".....I dont want to be wordly so I have chosen to change my ways. So with all these persecuting moments, my thought is I must be living a way that others can finally see that Im different. Isnt it odd that we spend our whole lives trying to fit in and be like everyone else, but yet the switch of the spirit comes from within and lights you up, you are clearly different because you see things in life completely different, you react different, you make decisions different, you just hold yourself together in a different matter and Im coming to the conclusion that if people are noticing that Im different than maybe Im finally grasping what Im here to do and what my purpose is. It will make people turn against you because they dont understand and I think its ok because those arent the people I need around me right now to keep my focus where it needs to be, all I can do is pray they see the light and join me in a more than words can say extreme lifestyle. Im ok with different.
Matthew 5:10 says, "God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs". Well, hot diggity dog, it looks like for the first time in my life Im actually doing something right, I cant express the freedom and peace that comes with knowing that you are doing things right, you have closed all your loose ends and mended your past relationships. I had someone use a term "burn the boats" that are causing your heart astray but the more I thought about it, I thought of the game "Battleship", I dont need to burn boats that carry weights to my heart, I need to line them up stratigically and sink them by figuring out where and what they are and hitting them head on so they are gone forever. A life with no regret, not looking over your shoulder, not staying up all night, not trying to figure out how to rob peter to pay paul and not having worry and doubt of anything you have done or said is really nice and an amazing breath of fresh air after 17 years of internal garbage.
Ive lived the world way like everybody else and I was miserable, empty, cold and heartless...broken, I was broken. God has healed and restored my mind, body, heart and soul and I know he can do the same for you. Life doesnt have to be so hard, you can choose to be different. One of the great things about being "different" is that you wear a full armor of God and by doing so you can already forsee battles and are prepared to fight for them as they arise. When your not in your armor and the way of the world is on you, you keep getting beat down, beat down, beat down and you stay broken relying on other things to pick you up and make you feel better, but those fills are just temporary and when the newness and shine wears off, your left broken and empty again wondering where you went wrong and why your life sucks so bad and things keep happening to you. You have a choice on which side you want to be, the side with armor or the side of the world. Ive lived both and wonder why I went with the world for so many years when I could have had the protection and armor fighting battles for me. I can only imagine through scripture the persecution that Jesus faced not just at crucifiction, but his entire life people mocked and persecuted him because he was different. I chose to be a christ follower so if I endure mockery and persecution for my beliefs and my lifestyle...Im ok with that. Still shocks me when I read or hear things, but I also feel sorrow for the mouths and hearts these words come from because they are hurting on the inside. Im sorry if this message seemed like a cry, but I assure you it was meant for someone who is internally battling the fence line and I hope its enough to show them the light and that its ok to be different. It doesnt mean you wont be fighting battles, it just means your protected from those battles.
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