As I continue to be vulnerable and burned by people and life, it makes me want to isolate myself and build walls around me even stronger to not be fooled or failed again, but the truth is God doesn't desire us to live that way. Its one of the easier said then done scenarios, but letting the enemy win is no longer an option for me because I don't live my life for me, I live it for God. For every lie there is a truth. There will always be disappointments and pain in our lives because we are living in a hurting broken world. When I visited Teen Challenge last summer, although Im in love with the program, I couldn't help but think I could turn my life around also if I was in a program that consisted of constant study and growth. If I were isolated between home and church I could do life the godly way. I even thought if I joined staff to this great program that Id be surrounded and isolated into a godly bubble and I would be where God wanted me, but that's just boot camp not the battle field and although we need to be recharged and trained in boot camp to be prepared on the battle field....real life happens in the battlefield. Healing and restoration takes place in that boot camp and its amazing, but growth and maturity takes place out in the field by conquering challenges and road blocks. We find where our strength is in these times and sometimes we figure out how weak we are and sometimes we find out how strong we are. A few times in my life I planned out my schedule to make sure I include every activity and service of three churches to make sure I stay plugged in and to keep me accountable and feeling holy, and that was ok.... some times we need to take cover, but once recharged we need to get back out there and persevere and keep moving. How can I grow in Christ without living real life and making real mistakes?
I read a statement today, ironically posted by my love Amy from teen challenge on facebook this morning and I think it puts this in much better perspective than I could ever explain, Rick Warren said this, "It may seem easier to be holy when no one else is around to frustrate your preferences, but that is false, untested holiness. Isolation breeds deceitfulness, it's easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one there to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships".
Relationships? The very one thing that unbalances me from my relationship with God, is how my maturity is shown...WOW! That's a brick wall in the face goodness ah ha, mind blowing kind of moment. So thankful I had the time to worship this morning and listened to the spirit as he was speaking and I was crying unto God and once again asking the famous "WHY".
Everyone will be will up for judgement one day and Id rather be judged for everything I tried to do and failed then be judged on good intentions, thoughts or ideas but stayed safe hanging on to my holism and security. I want to reciprocate his love in this hurting place and I cant do that hiding. Relationships with people are the very way we lead or deceive people from God and if I close my doors, I might not get hurt, but I will also not be able to bring hope of Gods healing or Gods light to someone else that was hurting and ready to build walls. "Open my ears and heart Lord, calm me into stillness and quietness so that I hear you" is my prayer at this time in my life and even though Im in a storm, I know that I cannot be overtaken by flood and that there is a promise of a rainbow, its time to put on my rain boots and dance through the storm.
I read a statement today, ironically posted by my love Amy from teen challenge on facebook this morning and I think it puts this in much better perspective than I could ever explain, Rick Warren said this, "It may seem easier to be holy when no one else is around to frustrate your preferences, but that is false, untested holiness. Isolation breeds deceitfulness, it's easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one there to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships".
Relationships? The very one thing that unbalances me from my relationship with God, is how my maturity is shown...WOW! That's a brick wall in the face goodness ah ha, mind blowing kind of moment. So thankful I had the time to worship this morning and listened to the spirit as he was speaking and I was crying unto God and once again asking the famous "WHY".
Everyone will be will up for judgement one day and Id rather be judged for everything I tried to do and failed then be judged on good intentions, thoughts or ideas but stayed safe hanging on to my holism and security. I want to reciprocate his love in this hurting place and I cant do that hiding. Relationships with people are the very way we lead or deceive people from God and if I close my doors, I might not get hurt, but I will also not be able to bring hope of Gods healing or Gods light to someone else that was hurting and ready to build walls. "Open my ears and heart Lord, calm me into stillness and quietness so that I hear you" is my prayer at this time in my life and even though Im in a storm, I know that I cannot be overtaken by flood and that there is a promise of a rainbow, its time to put on my rain boots and dance through the storm.
"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you" Isaiah 43:2
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