My Facebook

I have learned a lot through facebook throughout the years about myself and other people. Ive watched myself mature as a person, business person and Christian. When I started facebook somewhere around 2008/9ish, my attitude was if you don't like what I say then dont read or friend me. I still feel that way, but the difference is I don't post every thought, reaction or frustration. Im a real person and I have bad days, but the world doesn't need to hear about it. I also learned its not right to treat other people that way and it only makes me look bad. That same time frame I didn't really care what made me look bad because I didn't care what people thought about me and to a degree I still don't but I have a different heart about it. I don't want to portray my life is perfect, but facebook became an outlet for me to express myself in ways a shy person wouldn't normally. I found a sense of humor, I found inspiration and I felt connection like never before for not being a people person. Yes, there are people that pretend to be your friend and those that snoop most have filtered out by now on my page, but its amazing to see the support you get when something bad or good happens to you in life, you feel not alone and that people care. Ive felt so socially accepted, but in reality Im cyberally accepted. Im still locked up and shy in a real people setting. If we can communicate technically then how do we learn and mature our actual social skills? and our kids? I've had to go through growth spurts with my mouth and attitude but what an amazing adventure when I look how far Ive come. There were times my pics maybe weren't so appropriate but that was my life and me, I didn't have anything to hide. What I love looking back at and seeing now is that those type of posts are no longer posted not because I don't post them, but because I don't live that way anymore. I still have nothing to hide and you don't see those inappropriate photos or posts. I LOVE that folks!!!! My life is different, I am different....but, facebook has caused a lot of pain also and I encourage everyone to take a good look into your facebook and see how it reflects you as a person. Go through your feeds and pictures, it is your life, are you happy or proud of the way you live and what is your message about you to the world? The most damage to my relationships have been through facebook. If you are married facebook is HELL, especially if you cant trust the person your with or your relationship is rocky. Its an open opportunity for people in your past and acquaintances or a friend of a friend to come in and comfort you, after all you can just delete the messages. You can protect who post to your page so you don't get caught in multiple relationships and you can hide things from people you don't want them to see. I found conversation after conversation, message after message and like after like in all hidden places of my husbands facebook, he had no idea I knew what he was up to. I believe married people should have a joint facebook account, its just the right thing to do and establishes accountibilty which we all need. What I have found is there are people that wont be my friends or his friends until they hear we have issues and then were targeted. I also notice the people who make comments when were together and when were not even though we're still married. Keep in mind we've split up a couple times so this statement isn't made boldly from a one time thing, I mean to the day of us splitting up. Marriages need accountability and need to be protected in many ways for these kind of attacks ahead of time. I've also dated in between our marriages and twice Ive found guys cheating on me by posting a status change "in a relationship" with whoever out of no where not me. TWICE!!! What happened to good ol honest communication and respect? Our relationships are through text and computers and we wonder when we are face to face why we don't feel the same as we did with the person we have been texting or emailing. Major heartbreak from this site because its too easy to meet and rekindle relationships with the world at your fingertips instead of your own world. There were women sending my husband messages and visa versa...a married man with my pictures and kids all over his page and just by being nice and responding will open a foothold that cant be undone and from there it was downhill. It can be dirty people, very dirty. If most of my sales business wasn't elevated through social media and friends/family from other states lived closer, I would just shut it down completely. Put the phone, computer and IPad down people and play a game with your kids, go somewhere and do something with your friends and family, yes, myself included I max out at least 5 posts a day. People hide me because I post too much and I understand, I really do...but theres just something about my 5 post a day that's makes me feel worthy (working on that). Im getting better (ok, Im trying). The beauty is making friends all around the world and my mom in California seeing the kids minute by minute. We can keep connected and create awareness at the click of a button for it to go worldwide, what if we used this for good causes, support, prayer and to spread wonderful things throughout the world instead of letting the garbage control us and tear us down....the world could be a better place (at least our world around us). Yes, I want world peace, Im a pageant girl what can I say? I love the relationships I have built and Im proud to see my journey and have a journal of it all, but please don't let it replace communication and intimacy with actual people...bodies in front of us warm and ticking. I know its easier to keep up by staying in bed with a laptop, but CALL your friend and go MEET them for lunch. I love seeing new babies, marriages and uplifting moments. I love supporting people in hard times and visa versa and networking, but the truth is for me facebook has helped my business and ruined my family. Its not Facebooks fault, Im not blaming them...Im owning the fact that a website had enough dictatorship in our family that it was ruined by the he said/she said and temptations. More people need to clean up the friends list and honor their marriages and delete the temptations of people, pages and groups. What this tells me is we are too depressed, too lazy or too bored to have this much time in our lives to constantly be checking our phones or glued to computers. I have been leaving my phone in my car and silenced a bit more lately and once you don't have it you don't miss it, but what you do realize is everyone else on their phones and even just observing you see people check their phones every few minutes as if they are missing something. Ever watch peoples chat columns? Web, mobile, off, mobile, web, off, mobile, mobile 30 minutes, 8 minutes, mobile 3 minutes. Myself included, every stop light, waiting line, waiting room, bathroom....you name it and Im on facebook. This has to stop! Very, very sad and Im talking about myself, theres no living in that life. Its too easy to feel like you know someone by their posts, but that's not always truth. I have decided that I want my facebook to be used for networking for work and inspiration to my soul as well as outreach to others who may be hurting and needing a friend as well as awareness for the issues near and dear to me as well as my witness and testimony. I will not keep any person that clouds my newsfeed with anything but that, I am not talking a rough time in life we all have them, but I just wont tolerate certain behaviors and will not accept people I don't know or know of. I want to honor myself by surrounding myself with positive influences and I cant do that playing a popularity contest of who has more friends or what I could post to get more likes. Its a problem for people especially our teenagers who are lacking self worth thinking they aren't good enough because their friend got more likes than them and then they become starved for attention to get more likes and will go to extremes to make themselves feel like a valued somebody....that's not how our children should grow up thinking of themselves, it is our job to teach them the value of themselves not a website. I love facebook and clearly addicted, but my life is changing (again) and I think its time to take back control of my actual life and not worry about my cyber life (sounds good anyway), but I will be posting less to actually get away from computer and out enjoying life (I mean it). I hope something made you ah ha and if not then my soapbox is done. Keep it clean.