Skip to main content

A miracle right in front of me and I missed it.....

Ive been wondering over the last few weeks why I'm so calm about the "catastrophic" events (In Heather world) that would normally send me over the edge, for instance, tenants. Usually I have a small fuse and almost every moment of the day that I'm dealing with tenants is negative and full of anger. The last few weeks I have had major financial blows (which usually sends me over the edge by itself), tenants moving out without pay or notice, trashed houses, been to court numerous times lately, had people not pay and heard some pretty mean words from people and yet; I have not yelled, screamed, cursed, called names, thrown, stomped, stormed, huffed or puffed. I cant help but wonder what is wrong with me! (I'm not kidding, I have said that to myself and out loud several times in the last couple months) I have learned lately that the bigger the disaster, the bigger the glory to God is but in no way, shape or form did I consider my job apart of Gods perfect plan. It was not until yesterday I was listening to the pastors message that the dots started connecting and I went OMGoodness! I posted a saying last week about Gods timing always puts us where he wants us, but I relayed it to ministry not property management. I posted a saying on facebook several months back about blaming God for a bad day and I will butcher this because I don't remember the whole thing, but to the effect of being mad at God because she woke up late and then her car wouldn't start and her electric went out and her day was just awful so she was shaking her fist at God and his reply was I saved you from a wreck that would have killed you and your electric went out because your wiring would have set your house on fire. It changed my perspective in the real world as to why we get delayed and to why life throws us curveballs daily and to see the lesson or reason rather than shaking our fists and getting angry when our day doesn't go the way "we" planned. I'm reading several books right now and they all seem to relay the message about Gods timing and his perfect plan. I keep thinking about my future plans, but I will miss what God has in store for me now if I don't calm down. I know tomorrow isn't promised so I need to live where God wants me to now.

I felt like real estate and property management were just a means to pay my bills, never in a million years did I imagine it would be part of Gods plan to mold my heart and attitude. Pastor said yesterday that you can tell the relationship that a person has with God by the way they treat other people and the aha bell went flashing brightly before my very eyes. All this time (10 years of property management), God has worked on me, my thoughts, my attitudes, my patience, my tone through the very people I despised and were disgusted with the most all day, every day....tenants! Really God? I am proud to say that within the last month I passed the test and that is grounds for a major celebration of breakthrough!!!! God did a miracle on my heart not only in my marriage and kids, but now with every person I come in contact with. As I have been arguing with God about going to school to do something else and why it has always fallen apart is because I was in the "pit" right where God wanted me so that when he rescued me all the glory could go to him....Glory to God because those who know or knew me before even six months ago knew how much I hated renters and my job! This miracle not only has now been witnessed by me, but everyone who knew me before. I am so grateful that I finally caught on, and I am ashamed of the way I acted and treated people. I love witnessing what God has done in my life and the transformation in my heart is unmeasurable. I'm sure it is hard for people to see me before and now and I understand the resistance and the doubt because miracles sound to good to be true and unbelievable that's what makes them miracles and I'm glad that God chose me to perform a miracle and I hope the more people that see it will give him the glory he deserves because I was in a dark, cold, hatred filled pit of bitterness and hate for so many years. I don't deserve his blessing and miracle and where the towns people turn their backs on me, he chose me out of the crowd to touch my heart, renew my spirit, make me whole and make me stand upright from the crippled state of life I was in.

Mark Batterson said this in one of his books, " Too often our prayers revolve around asking God to reduce the odds in our lives. We want everything in our favor. But maybe God wants to stack the odds against us so we can experience a miracle of divine proportions. Maybe faith is trusting God no matter how impossible the odds are. Maybe our impossible situations are opportunities to experience a new dimension of Gods glory". I cant tell you how many times I have looked for a way out of my job and yet it NEVER has worked out, I spent 10 years shaking my fists at God asking why he makes me stay in a position that I dread every single day instead of understanding and looking for the lesson and good in the situation. I am thankful and grateful for my job and now that my heart has changed, I'm sure it will be more fulfilling, and used for Gods glory. He has my back, you'd think I would learn to let go and fall back so he can guide me to where he needs me instead of trying to cling, hold on and crawl to what I want. Thank you Lord for this eye opening, incredible aha breakthrough moment. You are the creator, please keep working on your "to do" list for me to mold and make me to your perfection and used for your glory.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tis the season

 Here we are again...another year has passed and Im in my normal buhumbug Christmas attitude with declining spirit as the years go by. Its really my same gripe and complaint every year of the expectation and greed that has taken over the idea of a gift. I dont mean to bring others down with me, but it seems my husband is losing his spirit as well. Our house has been known for its lights and light show but this year no lights, no decorations and its the 18th of December. My kids are grown.. well I say that, but really the baby has been jipped. Hes 16 so never here, but we always did the Christmas stuff because we had kids to make it special for. Everyone around us thinks we have it all together...does facebook do that to people? I feel like Ive always been raw and real which is not always to my advantage when your bi polar like me things just come out. The truth is, I just dont have any Christmas in me anymore. I see everyone else getting together and making cookies and candies, visitin

2024

 Here we are... Happy New Year!! So, what are your resolutions and goals for 2024? Ill tell you mine... none. Ive been wondering what is wrong with me so I googled "What does it mean if you have no goals or dreams" Diagnosis...lacking motivation and unambitious. Interesting. I get up every day and work 12-16 hours a day usually 7 days a week to keep things going yet I have lack of motivation and unambitious. Hmmm. Another diagnosis was lack of purpose, ok I might get on board with that one. I have been asking God my whole life what my purpose is and why am I here. I have felt the answer a few times and things seem to explode while I was doing it. So, that cant be right. I get doors close and and another one opens but how many have to shut before you figure out what your supposed to do with your life? Whats the purpose in finding it right before your life ends...why cant we spend our whole lives doing our purpose our mission before final resting and the words "good job my

A Screw Loose

 Monday I had a post planned on how great it felt to have sunshine in February and after watching JLOs new documentary how normal I felt to feel like everything is going to fall apart and everyone is watching. It was a raw look at my life through her eyes and it just felt so real that someone with her talent and creative skills has the thoughts I do everyday about my work, life and family. In the end we just want to be a good parent and have amazing children that weve given everything weve got and sometimes more to. I felt so normal and begin wondering if there is really such a thing as bi polar or depression or if were just adjusting to different life steps in our journey. Maybe everyone goes through the same thoughts and feelings but perhaps handles them differently. Maybe I don't have mental issues and I just needed reassurance or a different outlook. A few tears were shed and I called it a night. By Tuesday I was ok, felt heavy and my head was foggy but nothing was wrong, I was