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I just cant


 Im exhausted, Im worn out...I just cant people. I cant even answer or look at my phone its always someone that has an issue, someone that needs something, some decision to be made. Im over it. Why is it so hard for other people to make plans, organize and decide? Why is it always me? Why is it assumed I will handle it all? Wouldnt it be nice for once....just once for someone else to make a plan, to decide, to organize, to pay...Im exhausted. Why am I always accused of being the bad guy and the control freak because no one else will do it so then I make things work and apparently Im the devil. I literally work 7 days a week, 12-14 hour days for everyone to be miserable and unhappy. What gives? If Im busy, Im, rude. If Im non tolerant of drama, Im cold. If Im having fun, Im lazy, If Im happy I must be up to something. If I dress up, Im cheating. If Im hyper then Im too much. If Im quiet apparently something is wrong....I just cant people. I just want to runaway by myself. Why do people feel the need to judge me? I do not have it all together and I dont pretend to. I am a mess....why can I not just be accepted the way I am? What is it God that you created me to be? I have feelings they are crushed, I dont have feelings Im cold. I build houses around the world and feed the homeless, but evict people that dont pay as a career. I literally get griped out all day from people sitting on their couches that Im just not doing enough for them. I am over it. Why me? Why do people not take time to understand each other before attacking them? Why dont people stop and listen? Why do people act like entitled brats rather than human beings? Is this a rant? Probably coming out that way but if I dont get these reoccuring feelings out, Im going to snap. I cant take any more complaints, I cant take anymore hatefulness, I cant take anymore cursing and yelling, I cant take anymore accusing....Im exhausted. I need Jesus. I need peace and clarity in my soul and right now its just cloudy. The weight of the world was never intended for me to carry so why am I carrying it? 

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