This picture above couldn't be more true. Arent we all broken or at least chipped from past experiences and life? At what point do we embrace our brokenness and use it for a better future whether it be from what we learned, to what can we prevent or who can we help. Christine Caine writes in her book "Unstoppable" that "When our broken pieces are offered to God, he mulitplies them for HIS purpose" The bible tells us "all things work together for the good". We live in a broken world and with that comes broken people. Sometimes (not always) our expectations of people are too high. We put them on pedestools or label them based on a title and really they are just people and face it we all make mistakes. 2014 has not been my best year but its not anyones fault or because of any reason other than I dropped my commitments to make God number one. I put other things and people in the number one spot and as Ive told you before, I lose my balance if the number one place in my life is not supported. It was never intentional, just happened and worked out that way (not very well). My music changed, my attitude changed, my routine changed, my mouth and thoughts changed, my behavior changed and I realized I didn't like who I was becoming (again). I worked so hard to change my life four years ago and basically threw it all away. The church I attended made several changes that I didn't really care for and I just stopped going. In the middle of the year I wasn't even watching it online anymore (any of them). I stopped reading, I stopped hanging out with my support people, I stopped talking....I just shut down all together. I stopped feeding my soul and I starved it to death. I stopped my financial support Id previously sent in and even at the end stopped tithing. I have all the checks written out but the money just wasn't there. The money should have been paid first. My priorities turned upside down out of financial desperation even though I knew I wouldn't be in financial desperation had I turned it around. I didn't lose my faith, I took control over a subject that wasn't mine to begin with and was taught yet another lesson from our amazing creator. I feel dead, bottom line spiritually dead. I haven't volunteered this year...not at work, not in the community, not in the church, nada nothing. I had a decision to make, I could live in comfort and excuses and keep going down that path of death or I could change it and turn around. I posted on facebook the other day "old ways wont open new doors". Its true. If you want things to be different than you have to do something different. Im not proud of my choices this year, but I have learned from them and choose to not do it the same this year. Im not going to beat myself up over them or throw in the towel, Im going to fight harder. They are past and gone just as Jesus knows no sin. I wasn't sure if I was going to do the corporate fast this year like I have the previous 4 years and Ive concluded that after doing it and doing it full. Ive seen the blessings and life change along with joy and peace that living for God has brought and I have seen how me doing things the way I wanted has led to death and I would choose the path of righteousness any day, but its a choice and it has to be supported and strengthened. You cant run a marathon if you don't even get up and stand. I want my joy back and I know how to get it and what it takes and Im ready. Everyday is a new day and a new start, I didn't have to wait for a New Year to make a new year, but the time I have spent alone and in bed during this holiday season has awakened my soul and the alone time that I dread so much has been amazing with the spirit. Why do we really fear being alone anyway? Bible says, "we are never alone" and its true. I have more joy when I am "alone" because it is silent enough for me to listen and gain clarity on the busyness inside my head and heart. Its important to put other people before yourself but we often make the mistake of putting them first and God should always be first. When your priorities are out of order your life is out of order. It is proven to be very true. When my Christian friends come to me with life issues, my first questions are 1- Where is God in all this; 2- How is your prayer life; 3- What is your gut saying aka spirit lol.....about 99% is answered I don't know or I haven't. Problem solved. We are equipped with the answers, we choose not to accept them or are looking in the wrong places. Planets align, stars align and so do our lives...God created them all and in Heather terms "that's how he rolls"...just sayin. When we are doing the very things he tells us to do then he does the very things he has promised us in and for our lives. Its all in the life manual (BIBLE). We can be broken, we can make mistakes and we will, but have you really ever read the bible? I don't need to read "50 shades of gray" have you ever read "The Songs of Songs" by Solomon? Oh my! Things going wrong when you've tried so hard to do right? Learn from Job. Think God cant forgive you after everything you've done? Read David who after it all was labeled "Man after Gods own heart" and he was far from perfection. Think you have no purpose or significance? Read Moses or the story of Gideon. Think you've messed up so bad you could never change? Read about Paul. Having trouble with forgiveness, true love and obedience? Read about Hosea. Rough upbringing? Read the story of Joseph. Forgiveness or shame? Prodigal son. There is a story for every aspect of our lives. I believe our lives are another chapter of how God works, heals, delivers and saves. The choices we make can determine our outcome and I am choosing to not live the way I have any longer. I am choosing life according to HIS purpose not my own. Its really hard to experience the life in the land of milk and honey then get lost in the wilderness after the fact. I want milk and honey and I want to live in the promised land. My head, heart, body and soul will be recommitted to the very one who holds my crown. Happiness is a choice, purity is a choice, servant hood is a choice, worship is a choice, obedience is a choice and the choice is ours to make that's the beauty of free will. Im choosing to realign HIS promises for me. I cant help but singing "Im coming back to heart of worship and its all about you Jesus" "Im sorry Lord for things Ive done, its all about you" Replay over and over. Of course if I were being honest about it then it would be a 50/50 tie of that song and "Its all about the grace, bout the grace, bout the grace no struggle" There you have it folks, Im weird and Ive accepted it. Two of my fav movies are "Bruce Almighty" and "Evan Almighty" because it shows the signs and struggles we go through every day and what we miss by not paying attention. Its all about the free will and surrender of us. Of course I love the humor but also the practicality of it. Life is a journey but it starts with choice. If you don't like the ways things are going in your life then check your alignment. What have you made your priorities and what should they be? I bet by changing a few key items according to the manual (BIBLE) your outcome will be completely different. Choose to get out of comfort (and misery) and seek HIM with all of your heart. Get your joy back, stop letting the enemy win! New year, new you, new life....Lets do this!
Comments
Post a Comment