I read something the other day that said something to the effect that you need a little bit of jealousy in your relationship so that your spouse knows they are special or non replaceable to you and to a certain extent I thought good point, but as I went along my way something inside me just kept going on the thought. I have major issues with jealousy and I never did before. I really think mine stem for non trust issues and I believe that is the case with most relationships. I was never jealous before because I felt I couldnt be replaced, but when my husband cheated on me and when I was divorced, the next girl stepped in and I was gone (kinda, but thats another story). Once I learned I could be replaced, I worked harder at the relationship....why did it take my husband with another woman to make me work harder on the relationship I am still trying to analyze. But now if my husband is texting across the room I become jealous and if he comments or even likes a facebook post of a female, I become jealous and suspicious. What the heck is wrong with me, my husband doesnt feel appreciated by my jealousy, in fact in all honesty, its pushing us apart because it stems from non trust. Its just not fair for me to think that of my spouse, it poisons our relationship and makes a foothold for the devil to get into each of our thoughts and manipulate them to create distance, resentment and hurt between us. Really, who wants to live that way....but so many of us do! Its time to recognize it and destroy it!!! You cant have a healthy relationship with no trust, it just doesnt work. The bible doesnt encourage jealousy either in fact it says, in James 3:14-16:
Yikes, and if thats not clear enough Galations 5:19-21 lists Jealousy as an item on the warning list of people who will not inherit the kingdom of God...OUCH!!! That hurts for someone like me whos only goal in this life is to do His work to get to the kingdom, yet Im on the list and probably for more than just jealousy of not inheriting the kingdom at all. Im not jealous in an envious way, I dont envy other woman, I am just insecure and dont want to lose my husband. In fact, I love him so much that I smother him! I talk to alot of people about relationships and this is one of the top five complaints from male and females. They smother their partners out of jealousy and mistrust and wonder why they still arent happy. I feel like if God put my marriage back together out of absolutely no where then I ought to be able to trust in him and his word to keep it together. Jealousy really means we are not satisfied, so therefore I am unsatisfied with what God has done for me and my family so much that I dont trust in him when Im showing jealously. Another OUCH to myself! For us control freaks its hard to fall back and trust God sometimes, especially on the incidents we ourselves are sinning on like jealousy, trust, envy, pride, loyalty when it comes to our partner. We feel like we have to do things to keep our relationship together with drastic measures of outburst calling out and keeping a look out when really we are just killing it off slowly one outburst at a time. I mentioned this to a woman awhile back and she said so Im just supposed to let my husband do whatever and not say or do anything? The answer is yes, because its not our job to "control" our husbands or keep an accountability tab, the truth is God does that and when we step in front of God, we are telling God we can handle things on our own and thats a very dangerous place to be in...Dont EVER EVER step in front of God and then turn around and ask WHY GOD WHY? Although he is gracious enough to wipe our tears and redirect us out of it in a way that only a fathers love does and then stand us up to "try again", its just not a place you want to be in, instead place your trust in him over the entire situation and just know that their is purpose in his plan and will and sometimes the lesson or testing from God is for YOU to measure your growth or strengthen YOUR character. I hope I can grasp these thoughts and visions and place them in my heart. I dont want anyone thinking Im preaching to them when really Im telling myself this. My hope is my heart embraces this lesson and if your in the same situation, you might view the next urge to make a comment or action based on a jealous thought or emotion differently. Im continually telling myself to move over to the passenger side and quit trying to be the captain. Of all I have been through you would think that I would have this all down, but relationships are so so so so hard once trust is broken and damage even with words have been done. Gods word tells us this and I have to remind myself of this verse over and over, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will lead your path straight." I dont want to be this kind of person, woman or wife, please God, take these thoughts and emotions away from my spirit and infuse your light and love into me instead of jealousy.
"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. "
Yikes, and if thats not clear enough Galations 5:19-21 lists Jealousy as an item on the warning list of people who will not inherit the kingdom of God...OUCH!!! That hurts for someone like me whos only goal in this life is to do His work to get to the kingdom, yet Im on the list and probably for more than just jealousy of not inheriting the kingdom at all. Im not jealous in an envious way, I dont envy other woman, I am just insecure and dont want to lose my husband. In fact, I love him so much that I smother him! I talk to alot of people about relationships and this is one of the top five complaints from male and females. They smother their partners out of jealousy and mistrust and wonder why they still arent happy. I feel like if God put my marriage back together out of absolutely no where then I ought to be able to trust in him and his word to keep it together. Jealousy really means we are not satisfied, so therefore I am unsatisfied with what God has done for me and my family so much that I dont trust in him when Im showing jealously. Another OUCH to myself! For us control freaks its hard to fall back and trust God sometimes, especially on the incidents we ourselves are sinning on like jealousy, trust, envy, pride, loyalty when it comes to our partner. We feel like we have to do things to keep our relationship together with drastic measures of outburst calling out and keeping a look out when really we are just killing it off slowly one outburst at a time. I mentioned this to a woman awhile back and she said so Im just supposed to let my husband do whatever and not say or do anything? The answer is yes, because its not our job to "control" our husbands or keep an accountability tab, the truth is God does that and when we step in front of God, we are telling God we can handle things on our own and thats a very dangerous place to be in...Dont EVER EVER step in front of God and then turn around and ask WHY GOD WHY? Although he is gracious enough to wipe our tears and redirect us out of it in a way that only a fathers love does and then stand us up to "try again", its just not a place you want to be in, instead place your trust in him over the entire situation and just know that their is purpose in his plan and will and sometimes the lesson or testing from God is for YOU to measure your growth or strengthen YOUR character. I hope I can grasp these thoughts and visions and place them in my heart. I dont want anyone thinking Im preaching to them when really Im telling myself this. My hope is my heart embraces this lesson and if your in the same situation, you might view the next urge to make a comment or action based on a jealous thought or emotion differently. Im continually telling myself to move over to the passenger side and quit trying to be the captain. Of all I have been through you would think that I would have this all down, but relationships are so so so so hard once trust is broken and damage even with words have been done. Gods word tells us this and I have to remind myself of this verse over and over, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will lead your path straight." I dont want to be this kind of person, woman or wife, please God, take these thoughts and emotions away from my spirit and infuse your light and love into me instead of jealousy.
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