Skip to main content

Final words?

As I'm preparing to leave for Africa in a week, I'm closing out basically my life. All the business' I run will come to a close out phase to where I can stop and start the bills, money, move ins and outs, while someone else maintains while I'm gone. I have mentioned this before in my blog, but before every trip I close out myself as well. Yes, realistically I could die today or before a week when I leave, however putting myself "out there" makes my chances a little higher. These trips are not the safest and that's why many people don't go, but as I've grown radical in Christ, I don't want to live safe and comfortable because that's not what God has placed us here for or called us to do, particularly me. I've always been known for being "hard" and unemotional, but I've grown up in a military family and that's just how I am. It's not that I don't feel, I just don't express a lot of it. I really feel that this can also be a gift when it comes to traveling the world. I'm stronger and can keep myself/group focused and together in some very sad circumstances. Although I can't speak for Africa because I haven't experienced yet, I thrive spiritually on these trips, my whole reason for being is so crystal clear and even though I'm just one person, I get to be apart of changing people's lives, isn't that what life is really all about? It is too me and I know it's a rarity that someone could just live wholeheartedly for other people but I'm definitely one of them. My biggest regret in life is not falling in love with Christ sooner than I did, I think of all the time wasted that could have been lived for him, however I also know that time "wasted" has molded me into who I am today and knowing God it's all apart of my story. It might not have been a warm fuzzy story but the ending will be and those dark times just make the fuzzy so much warmer when my story does end.

People that take mission trips find that it's hard on them emotionally to see life the way we do there and then come back here and almost feel guilty to a some degree. I don't view it that way, in fact the emotional part I go through is because I have to come back. I would be happy if I could just stay behind. I don't care to have all these luxuries, I'd be happy and probably happier in the deepest village in the middle of nowhere with nothing but my health to have strength to work diligently, it's just my heart. I have so much passion for living the way God designed us to that I find America to be a major distraction. There are no words to describe the feeling inside of me when I walk into a village, my entire world is at peace and in love.

I love my kids, family and friends, but I love God a whole lot more and if I'm sacrificed while doing Gods work then just know that if something happened to me it would not be a tragedy it would be the greatest way for me to go and I would die a fulfilled purposeful life and hope to leave a legacy of example not fear. I pray every day that my boys hearts are set on fire for God and that they pick up their crosses and follow him no matter the sacrifice. My only prayer as a mother is that my boys serve God with all their hearts and lives.

Thank you God for giving me another amazing opportunity to see you, really see you and I pray that through our team others will see you also. I ask angels to fly our planes and your hands and arms to hold us up with your strength. Help us to get the church built so your children can worship, hear and continue to see you even after we are gone. Keep us safe and healthy so we can provide to those there in need and continue to come home and serve the way you have asked of us. Open our eyes to the work you want us to do and provide us the strength and endurance to make it happen. I love you and am honored you chose me for this task. Help me to control the thoughts and attitudes that satan has me trapped in and continue to break those chains of bondage. In your name as we lift you up and praise, AMEN.



















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Simpsons vs Flanders"

The last blog post was about being seen differently by people and not acting the way of the world. I have been mocked a couple times by the way I have chosen my life and Im ok with that, but my heart keeps telling me theres more to say. Its the wierdest thing to have your heart pulled and tugged for what has been on my mind, but the only way to put it to rest is to write it out. The podcast of life church was a series "from this day forward" learning five principles for marriage. I will use the same quote as before, it just got to me,"If you want to have a different marriage and family than everyone else, then you have to do things differently than everyone else". It really is a very powerful statement. We do have rules in our marriage and home that most people think is ridiculous and most of the time my husband thinks they are ridiculous, but weve been married before and you all know how that worked out so, if we want a different marriage, we will have to do differ...
Post a Comment
Read more

25,550 First Dates

I talk to so many couples that are ready to throw in the towel because they dont see light at the end of the tunnel and feel like they just married the wrong person. That is one of Satans biggest lies and yet its amazing how many of us fall for that one (including me). The fact is when we grow up thinking of marriage we want and see the fairytale. Everything we read and watch is a story ending in a fairytale and when we feel like we are living in a nightmare instead of a fairytale, we just assume and believe we married the wrong person and instead of making your own fairytale, you opt for divorce or thoughts of divorce (which are just as damaging). Ive said it before and Ill say it until the day that I die, "Love is a choice" and to go one step further, "Happiness is a choice". Ever heard the saying. "The grass is greener on the other side, until you step in the poop"? Its true, we see other marriages or our single friends and just think that they have the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hillsong

 I came across Hillsong music around 1997. I was 17 , just lost my grandfather the most precious person to me and with my heart full of "why Gods", there is just something about Hillsong music that brings me to my knees. This music has been with me through the hardest moments in my life ever since. I had no idea it was a church or school until recently. I have every CD (for those that know what that is haha) and they have been played over and over that Ive had to rebuy them. Now I have Hillsong music on pandora so it plays through my car. I can scream it at the top of my lungs on a good day or say nothing at all on a bad day. Last week I accidently stumbled across the documentary so I watched it. I learned alot. I had no idea any of that had gone on to be honest. I didnt know what to think or say so I took a couple days to process. I have said this before in past post about putting people in the church on pedestals. Yes, I have also been hurt on more than one occasion from mu...
Post a Comment
Read more