It was a year ago I posted a controversial bold blog about Christmas and this year is no exception. Although our family is very clear about the true meaning of Christmas it doesn't make the hustle and bustle any less. Ive spent all year paying debt off and still found myself waiting for a miracle closing to "save" Christmas. Spent many sleepless nights and wasted tears on what Im going to do without a dime for Christmas. The truth is for years we have dreaded Christmas. Being in the rental business where people make Christmas their priority over paying rent at times we had bills to be paid or no food on the table, yet we found ourselves scraping everything we had including rents collected to save Christmas instead of paying who we owed or borrowing money on credit lines and credit cards and for what....5 minutes of satisfaction before your kids blurt out that's not what I wanted or I didn't get this or that like they wanted so when asked they say they didn't have a good Christmas! Ive observed the last few weeks as we went around town and we were asked if we were ready for Christmas and people asking my kids if they have been bad or good because Santa is coming. The truth is Santa probably wasn't gonna come but not because I have bad kids...because I cant afford it. How do you tell a six year old who knows what Christmas is about but yet theres no Santa so he doesnt think hes nothing because in our culture every kid deserves a present on Christmas morning. I don't agree!! Kids don't deserve anything, none of us deserve anything. I could be the most hated person in America or even grinchy, but Christmas is about the Savior of our world being born, not Black Friday and holiday sales. Its embarrassing to get gifts and not be able to give one back. Its a lot of stress and pressure to feel like you have to cover everyone in your growing family and friends list. There were many years where we didn't have money for Christmas gifts for our family so we made up excuses not to have them so we could use our giftcards and Christmas money we received to go buy them a Christmas gift after Christmas when things were on clearance. Why do we live under that kind of pressure and culture? Ive talked to many people that just buy stuff then decide who they are gonna give it to....doesn't that defeat the purpose? To get a gift just to say you got one rather than someone taking the time to find something they think you would actually like or want.....why bother? Christmas has made me crazy, absolutely crazy to where the last couple of years I dread it. I dread what Im gonna get, give and my kids reactions. My ideal Christmas is getting dressed up and sharing a family meal together, reading the story of Christmas or looking at lights together. We are so wrapped up in stuff that we have lost touch with relationships. We turn to alcohol or electronics to get through it, I just don't remember growing up that way and as I set traditions and examples in my own family, I hope that the world doesn't have a bigger impact than the reason for it all and how it all began. My family and life has had a rough year, but we still give God glory for carrying us through and that is something that cant be replaced with something from a pretty wrapped box that someone took time and money to make pretty for a few moments of shine. Id rather be downtown feeding the hungry and warming the cold that's what Christ would do and if we are celebrating his birth and life, then we should follow out his words and life instead of these tangible things that please for a minute of our lives. I have fallen into the holiday craziness also, but step back and take a look at what your doing and then think about why and see if it follows the ideals of the true meaning of Christmas.
I came across Hillsong music around 1997. I was 17 , just lost my grandfather the most precious person to me and with my heart full of "why Gods", there is just something about Hillsong music that brings me to my knees. This music has been with me through the hardest moments in my life ever since. I had no idea it was a church or school until recently. I have every CD (for those that know what that is haha) and they have been played over and over that Ive had to rebuy them. Now I have Hillsong music on pandora so it plays through my car. I can scream it at the top of my lungs on a good day or say nothing at all on a bad day. Last week I accidently stumbled across the documentary so I watched it. I learned alot. I had no idea any of that had gone on to be honest. I didnt know what to think or say so I took a couple days to process. I have said this before in past post about putting people in the church on pedestals. Yes, I have also been hurt on more than one occasion from mu...
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